Riley Cooper's an idiot, but...

... but, to his credit, he did just spawn one of the greatest and most offensive fantasy football team names ever.

I give you "Hanging, with Mr. Cooper".

If you're gonna be dumb (and racist), Riley, you gotta be tough. Hope you're preparing yourself for a season chock full of well-deserved jokes and locker room beatings at your expense.

Waiting for the bottom to drop...

It hit me last night as I watched Rajon Rondo writhing in pain on the hardwood after this mid-air collision with the Knick's Tyson Chandler sent him crashing to the ground, tailbone first:

I've been waiting for the bottom to drop out.

I have dismissed. I have tempered. Unlike one Mr. Rod Stewart, I have looked to find a reason to disbelieve. So, here I stand, guilty as self-accused, ready to confess my sins.

For the better part of the last month and a half, as I've watched my beloved Celtics win 21 of their last 30 contests - many against some of the top teams in this lockout shortened NBA season - I've been curtly and systematically dismissing endless streams of, "You know, the Celts might have one run left in em..." comments. In fact, I've been doing it so often, it's developing into a perfectly rehearsed monologue:

"Yeah, I know they look good right now, but nothing has changed... they still can't rebound... they're offense still relies too heavily on their jumpers falling... they still lack depth... the bench can't score and blows leads... Sasha Pavlovic is being counted upon for meaningful minutes... the same problems that existed pre- All-Star break persist, they just haven't been exposed. They will be. Ultimately, they'll give up too many offensive boards to a team they should have put away in a must win playoff game, and an abundance of second chance points will propel said team past the Celts and into the next round and relegate Danny Ainge to a long summer of, "Should I? Shouldn't I?," in regard to resigning KG and/or Ray Allen."

In fact, as recently as two and a half weeks ago, in a conversation with a friend, I stated that the only playoff-bound team the Green could take in a 7-game series was Orlando. I don't believe that now, and I didn't believe it then either.

"Been dunkin' since a young'n like..."

Unless you're a big NBA fan, like myself, or someone who happened to watch SportsCenter yesterday, chances are you haven't heard of Kenneth Faried.

Well, allow me to introduce you:

Faried, the Denver Nuggets rookie forward out of Moorehead State, has been all over ESPN and ESPN.com since posting a 27-point, 17 rebound game against the Warrioirs on Monday night. It was a breakout performance from the 6"8', 228 lb, dreadlocked force of nature, who has earned himself the nickname "Man-imal".

(As fitting a s "Man-imal" is, I'm still fond of "The Predator", and with his shot-blocking abilities in the post, think it's just as fitting: see here, here, here, here, and here for evidence.)

But to anyone who's been paying attention over the last few months, Faried's breakout game should come as no surprise.

The genius of "Big Beer"....

This morning, I stumbled across something that left me standing in awe of the brilliant marketing minds at Anheuser-Busch In-Bev.

Good people, I give you the DRAFTMARK Home Tap System.

What is DRAFTMARK, you ask? Well, in practice, it is essentially a mini-(mini) keg-erator that stores and dispenses roughly 11 "draught" beers from the convenience of your kitchen refrigerator. Or, as the FAQ section of the DRAFTMARK website explains:

"Draftmark is a high-end, affordable home draft system that offers beer drinkers a true draft beer experience.

Draftmark offers a completely different experience from what’s currently available. The system is a permanent piece for your refrigerator; you simply purchase new re-fills and continue using the draught unit you’ve already invested in. Draftmark also allows you to pour multiple brands, offering variety to you and your guests. You can easily interchange between Budweiser, Shock Top and Bass Pale Ale."

In actuality? DRAFTMARK is an ingenious device the shrewd businessmen at AB In-Bev have devised to bring the war for shelf-space, brand identification and your hard-earned dollars from the supermarket shelves, straight into your kitchen....