Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Off to the races....

So I attended my first ever NASCAR race this weekend – an event which doubled as the first time I’ve ever watched more than one lap of any auto race… ever.

My buddy Murph, an in-the-flesh NASCAR fan, had four tickets to the Lenox Industrial Tools 301 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, and he asked me and two other friends – Joe and Canavan – to go to the race with him.

I figured that I might as well see what this whole NASCAR thing was all about, so I happily accepted.

Not knowing exactly what to expect, but prepared for anything, I set out from my house at 7 a.m. Sunday morning wearing a tank-top and my Jim Beam Racing hat (a freebie with a bottle of Beam about a year ago that I was hoping would prevent me from standing out like a sore thumb as a non-racing fan who knows nothing about the sport). What follows is a running retro-diary of my day, the accuracy of which ranges from exact to very loose interpretation, with the variable being the number of beers consumed.

Due to the massive size of this diary, I'm going to post it in two parts over the next two days. So without further adu, here's Bill's NASCAR Diary, Part I:

7:20 AM:
The tank-top/Beam racing hat are already doing the trick. I just stopped to gas up and grab some ice for the coolers on the way to Murph’s house, and the woman behind the counter at Shell took one look at me and asked, “You headed up to the race today?”

Score 1 for Bill.

7:45 AM:
“They’re gonna love you!!”

That’s Murph’s reaction upon seeing my get-up as I arrive at his house.

Murph seems to be in good spirits and ready to roll; good sign for the start of the morning. Joe, on the other hand, looks like hell and just informed me that “(He) had a green butt purge,” this morning. Given that we have 90 beers in the trunk for just four people, I have a feeling that Joe’s green morning “butt purge” won’t be his last.

8:10 AM:
Canavan finally arrives at Murph’s house, bringing with him the “grill” that we’ll be using to tailgate all day. It’s not quite what was promised when he told us he had a grill – the “grill” part is there, but we weren’t expecting the added bonuses of rust and cobwebs on our burgers.

After some mild complaining about Canavan’s “grill”, we load up my ’98 Nissan Altima and head out – Loudon, here we come.

8:22 AM:
We spot our first fellow race fans of the day as we’re waiting to take a left in traffic. A huge pickup truck with a giant American flag hanging out the back window – viciously flapping over the truck bed – rolls by as Murph and Joe simultaneously say, “That guy’s definitely going to NASCAR.”

What have I gotten myself into?

9:07 AM:
We’re getting closer to Loudon, and the number of both teeth and minorities in the cars surrounding us is dwindling. Fast.

Murph announces that he’s getting “hot flashes” from the morning coffee, as Joe counters with, “Hot flashes, what about me, I had a green butt purge this morning.” I have a feeling we’ll be hearing about this non-stop throughout the day.

9:11 AM:
Canavan seriously contemplates getting out and walking next to the car (crawling along in race traffic at this point) to have a cigarette.

9:37 AM:
First beer of the morning is officially cracked.

After sitting in a little more race traffic, parking, and unloading the car, the boys are ready to rock. (I do feel it’s worth noting that the first person we see in the parking lot has cut-off sleeves and a two-foot long rat tail.)

Joe tunes in the local classic rock station on the radio and the first round of beers are down within five minutes.

Four down, 86 to go.

10:08 AM:
Joe announces that Murph is the “Pace Car” after Murph finishes beer number four while the rest of us are only about a quarter of the way through. When I finish mine and tell Joe to drink up and crack another, he cites the “green butt purge” for the 27th time this morning as the reason for his “slow” (3 and ½ beers in 31 minutes) start.

Murph tells Canavan to fire the up the “grill”. It’s time for some breakfast.

10:09 AM:
We realize we did not bring a spatula. Murph sends Joe on a mission to seek out good-hearted tailgaters who will let us borrow theirs. The mission is successful.

We’ve been talking to a few of the surrounding groups since getting here, and I have to admit that “the NASCAR lifestyle,” as Murph calls it, is pretty damn fun. Picture tailgating before a football game, except instead of being in a parking lot, you’re on grass. And there are way more people, and miraculously enough port-o-potties to accommodate the crowd. And there are fewer d-bags. The NASCAR fans might be a little (or a lot) rough around the edges, but you’d be hard pressed to find a friendlier bunch.

10:36 AM:
Breakfast is served!! Burgers and potato chips washed down with a healthy amount of Miller Lite.

The weather’s not bad and the rain seems to be holding off, we’re all having a good time and drinking at an incredible pace.

Canavan is talking sports with Brian, who is parked next to us with his dad. They drove up from Connecticut for the race; leaving their house at 5 AM. Brian explains that he didn’t get in from “partying bra” the night before “until like 3 AM”. Murph says he wishes Brian had stayed partying, though Brian grew on us later.

11:23 AM:
Since we got here this morning we’ve been having a running commentary on the type of female who attends NASCAR. Joe has an ingenious system for rating these women.

Instead of the traditional 1-10 rating system, Joe describes the quality of women at NASCAR by how many beers deep he would have to be before sleeping with them. In this system then, a 0 is the highest possible rating, while the ceiling for low ratings stretches to infinity.

Based on our observations, the average rating at this particular race is roughly 235, though that number is skewed by the several women who we rated as “infinities”.

I bring this up here because we have just handed out our second single-digit rating of the day. However, it has been called into question as we wonder whether rating someone an 8 while being nine beers deep actually means that person is a 17.

This is an important question, and it needs answering.

11:34 AM:
There is a large gap in the row of parked cars across from us because the friendly female parking attendant keeps waving cars past when they try to park there. Murph starts talking to her, and she explains that she’s waving these cars past because we’d have to get up and move for a second to allow them to back in, and she doesn’t want us to have to move.

This would not happen anywhere else on earth. And though we’re thankful for her thoughtfulness, we have a problem: we want people to drink with!

So, every time we see a car driving past full of passengers we deem to be “fun people”, we’re screaming at them to park there and trying to back them in without the parking attendant, who keeps coming up and waving them out, seeing.


12:00 PM:
Thirty-plus beers down and Murph announces that it’s time to make picks for the $20 pool. Each of us will pick three drivers, and whoever has the highest finisher will win. I can see right off that bat that this will be a problem for me.

Joe gets the first pick and takes Kyle Busch. I take Jimmie Johnson with pick #2, who I just found out was a NASCAR driver about an hour ago. After Canavan picks Tony Stewart I’m down to two more drivers that I know. Joe takes one of them (Jeff Gordon) and I take the remaining one (Dale Jr.) with my second pick and end up with some scrub for my final pick.

(More to come… check back for Part II of the diary, including the actual Race and “Joe’s big day out” tomorrow)

Friday, June 26, 2009

Draft Night

So tired. All I got is that the winners were the pacers, rockets, t-wolves and grizz. And that Dejaun Bair fell way to far.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A-Rond the World in 80 Days…

Excuse the terrible tagline for this post, but I’m running out of creative ways to introduce rants dealing with Rajon Rondo and the maelstrom of trade rumors surrounding the 23-year-old point guard.

It seems like it’s been the same old song and dance everyday for the past week now: another morning, another Rondo trade rumor. It’s becoming as much a part of my a.m. routine as showering and an XL coffee with skim milk and two sugars from Dunkin’ Donuts.

Today’s offering: Rondo and Brian Scalabrine to Memphis for Mike Conley and Rudy Gay. I’m calling it “The Big Gay Trade.”

Now, I’m still of the opinion that Rondo isn’t actually going anywhere, and that Danny Ainge is just playing head games with the young star by involving him in these ridiculous rumors (see yesterday’s “The Rondo Dilemma” for a full explanation). But, this morning’s rumor makes that theory a much harder to buy into, as The Big Gay Trade is the most plausible one yet in terms of actually coming to fruition.

There are a couple reasons The Big Gay Trade holds that distinction, one of the most prominent being that Memphis, unlike… say…Detroit, doesn’t have to worry about the possible consequences of making the Celtics better through a trade. The only place Memphis would be seeing the Celtics (that matters) is in the NBA Finals. Any Eastern Conference contender, however, will have a handful of meaningful regular season games against the C’s and then have to get through them in order to make the Finals, so any trade making the C’s better is one they want to avoid making.

The second reason that this trade is the most plausible of the Rondo rumors is that it makes financial sense for both teams, unlike the vague reports of a trade that would have sent Rondo and Ray Allen to Phoenix for Leandro Barbosa and Amare Stoudemire. That trade would have resulted in the Celtics having roughly $23 million tied up in Barbosa and Amare through the summer of 2011, rather than have only $21 million tied up in Rondo and Ray that would come off the books just in time for (cue movie phone voice) “The Summer of 2010!!!”

(On a side note, I absolutely pull the trigger on this deal if I’m Steve Kerr. You get a talented young guard in Rondo who can step up and replace Nash when he either A) retires or B) bolts for a contender in free agency, and you get a veteran wing who can help you make a championship run this season and has $20 million expiring contract.)

(You sign a veteran Big Man to a one or two year deal to replace Amare and you got a team. You also keep another valuable trading chip in Big Diesel’s expiring contract that you can swap to get some help mid-season if the Big Fella’s not performing. Amare’s unhappy and leaving anway, and Barbosa is a player who became overrated and overpaid because he played in Mike D’Antoni’s SSOL offense. This deal is a good one for the Suns.)

And finally, The Big Gay Trade makes perfect sense for Memphis.

If you’re Memphis you’ve got this dilemma of having to pick at the #2 spot in the draft. You have to chose between two needs; upgrading your backcourt with Ricky Rubio (who has tremendous potential but is still a large gamble) or upgrading your frontcourt (a dire need for the Griz) with Hasheem Thatbeet.

As I’ve discussed here before, if you have to choose between franchise Big Man or a franchise guard, you gotta go with Big Man. Right? But, if Memphis can improve at PG and get a veteran SG to compliment O.J. Mayo, it could give them one of the best backcourts in the league.

This trade allows the Griz to do both things. Rondo was one-half a backcourt that won an NBA championship, and Scal can actually contribute on a team that needs some serious frontcourt help and also lacks any type of depth at SF – the #2 guy on the depth chart at the 3 is Quinton Ross (3.9 ppg 1.9 rbs and 0.9 asts; avg. 17 mpg).

And if you have Rondo (a proven thing) nobody questions the decision to pass on Rubio and grab Thabeet, who can help immediately in a frontcourt made up primarily of Darrell Arthur (5.6, 4.6, 0.6), Marc Gasol (11.9, 7.4, 1.7) and Darko Milicic (5.5, 4.3, 0.6).

On the Celtics side of the deal, you get back a talented young PG (definitely a downgrade from Rondo but a better pick up than Rodney Stuckey) who still has three seasons left on his rookie contract, and a great energy guy who can come off the bench and give you solid minutes at either the 2 or 3, giving Paul or Ray a rest.

And Rudy Gay is making the same amount as Scalabrine!!! Would you rather pay Scalabrine $3.2 million next season and cut him during the summer of 2010 or pay Rudy Gay $3.2 and $4.4 million over the next two seasons, then if he plays well enough sign him to a mid-range deal when Paul retires?

Now, I still don’t think this trade happens, but my point is this: four rumors in six days involving Rondo is making it more and more difficult to believe that there’s not something going on here that we don’t know about. Especially now that one of these rumors finally makes sense.

Maybe Danny sees something the rest of us don’t. Maybe he really is shopping Rondo. Whatever it is that’s going on here, I just hope he knows what he’s doing.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Rondo Dilemma

By now I’m sure everyone has heard the latest trade rumor involving the Celtics’ young floor general, the one that would send him and Ray Allen to Detroit for Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince and (ironically for those who read my post yesterday) Rodney Stuckey.

First off, Danny has been taking some heat for this one on the fan-pages and forums, even though the trade offer was (reportedly) immediately declined by Detroit. When you actually look at the deal, though, it’s not a bad trade. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I’d have probably have been fine with it if it had gone through.

Think about it.

By adding Rip and Tayshaun we automatically improve our defense and finally find a suitable and capable player who can come off the bench and give Peirce a rest (in Tayshaun).

Rip is Rip, and swapping him for Ray basically gives you a younger version of the same type of player (Ray will be 34 next month, Rip is 31). Don’t believe me; check their stats from last season. Ray averaged 18.2 pts, 3.5 rebs and 2.8 asts per game. Rip averaged 18.3 pts, 3.2 rebs and 4.4 asts per game.

Yeah, yeah, I know Ray shot 48% from the field and 40% from beyond the arc while Rip shot 44% and 36%, but Rip’s shooting percentages are still solid. He was seldom left alone on the offensive end and oft doubled and still managed to hit those marks. And, don’t think those percentages wouldn’t improve with the increased amount of open looks that are a product of playing on a team with Paul Peirce and Kevin Garnett.

Plus, Rip is on the books for $11.6 million next year compared to Ray’s $19 million, so that has to be factored in as well.

Admittedly, Stuckey is a downgrade from Rondo. I would be in the camp of those calling it a “significant downgrade”, since I’m not too high on Stuckey and definitely don’t think he’s a “true” point guard. However, he is a talented player and he is young (23, same age as Rondo), so it’s not a total loss. You sign a decent veteran PG to back him up and the Celts would have a depth chart that looks like this:

PG: Stuckey/vet
SG: Rip/Eddie House
SF: Peirce/Prince/Brian Scalabrine
PF: KG/(Leon Powe or Glen Davis, since it’s not likely you’re signing both)
C: Pekins/free agent pickup (Marcin Gortat anyone???)

That’s a competitive team, and could be for the next 3-4 seasons.

None of that really matter’s though, because this trade was never happening. The deal was offered to Detroit - that seems like it’s an undeniable fact here given the extent of the media reports. There’s no way Joe Dumars ever pulls the trigger on it though, for reasons which I’ll get into a little later.

This brings me to my larger point: the question that is rolling around in my head right now.

Is Danny just playing head games with Rondo by involving him in these ridiculous trade proposals?

Has anyone else noticed that most of these “rumored” deals involving Rondo are deals that would be completely unrealistic for at least one of the teams involved?

In this most recent instance, there’s no way Detroit accepts the offer for two reasons, 1) they’re giving up their three best players currently under contract (since Sheed hasn’t signed yet), and 2) There’s no way Detroit does a trade that makes Boston better. Neither does Cleveland or Orlando for the same obvious reason.

Danny has to know that.

And if he does, is he just trying to show Rondo (with his reported ego issues) that he’s expendable? Maybe light a fire under the young PG, challenging him to prove that he’s A) not expendable, and B) a great team chemistry guy and a good soldier (to disprove all the media buzz about his stubbornness that is cited as a potential reason for shopping him every time a new rumor surfaces)?

Danny’s smart. Don’t underestimate him.

The rumor that Ray and Rondo were going to Phoenix for Amare and Nash was totally unrealistic due to finances. Everyone knows that Minny has no intent of letting Big Al go anywhere, nor should they as he is a franchise “Big” who can man the helm of a contender for years to come if the right players are surrounding him. And finally, the Pu Pu Platter that was rumored for Ray and Rondo to Washington was terrible and would have made no sense for the Celts.

So why then would Danny be discussing these ridiculous deals involving his young star point guard, and then publicly deny them like they’re the third Manning brother to boot?

According to the Celts Twitter account, he pulled the same act again this morning in his pre-draft press conference.

“DA: "I'm not sure why his is popping up, but we love Rajon. It doesn't seem like you have to have any source any more (to report rumors).",” one Tweet reads, in what appears to be a response to a question about why Rondo’s name keeps popping up in trade rumors.

“DA: "I've heard speculation we're dissatisfied with him; we're gonna trade him because he was late for a playoff game? That's not true.",” the next Tweet reads.

And Danny’s response to all the other rumors involving Rondo has always been the same: deny, deny deny. And make sure to reiterate how much he loves Rondo.

Think about it. Rajon’s a young guy coming off his best season. His rookie contact is up next year. He already has an ego and thinks of himself highly (if all reports are to be believed). So what do you do to motivate him as a GM? You throw his name into some faux trade rumors to show him that he’s expendable – that he can be replaced.

At the same time, you come out and praise him publicly, denying the rumors in order to make sure he still knows you like him and respect his skills. This keeps him happy enough with you and the team to want to stay, and at the same time motivated enough to want to prove his worth, even though he spent the last two seasons proving he’s one of the best in the league at his position.

Genius. And genius seems to be what Danny Ainge does best.