D Miles and More Ways to be Unproductive at Work

Allow me to present to you excepts from a series of real emails that occupied a solid half hour of my day at work this morning:

* * * *
From: JR
To: B
Subject: How are things going in the bureau

Hey B, just checking on how things are working out for you in the bureau now that I transfered. You hanging in there?

By the way, enjoy: www.**********.com/****/**** (this was a link to a news story about a moose that tried to mate with a man's pick up truck. I swear to god that's really what it was, you can't make this shit up)

* * * *
From: B
To: JR
Subject: RE: How are things going in the bureau

Things are going O.K. so far. Not as much sports talk going on now that you left, but JC (the new kid) knows his NBA, so we have the occasional debate about whether the Celts can repeat.

Great story by the way, would have been better if the moose tried to get it on with some obese guy though, would've made for a much funnier pic.

* * * *

From: JR
To: B
Subject: RE: How are things going in the bureau

I know dude, that would have been hilarious. This one's even better:

www.********.com/*******/******** (this was a link to a news story about a woman arrested for chasing little kids and cursing at them while wearing a cow suit. It included a mug shot of woman still in the suit. Once again, you can't make this shit up)

Which side of the Celtics debate are you on anyway.

* * * *

Now, I'm going to skip the meat of this debate to get to the part that really matters...

* * * *

From: JR
To: B
Subject: RE: How are things going in the bureau

I think they've got a solid bench still, and a lot of good young talent. Posey was great to have around, but Miles could more than duplicates his stats...

James Posey (31 years old) career stats: 7.4 ppg, 4.4 rpg
Darius Miles (27 tomorrow) career stats: 10.6 ppg, 5.2 rpg

* * * *

From: B
To: JR
Subject: RE: How are things going in the bureau

Correction to D Miles career stats:

Darius Miles (27 tomorrow) career stats: 10.6 ppg, 5.2 rpg, 1.7 bspg (blunts smoked per game)

Seriously, I love DM, but the dudes already got a 10 game suspension for violating league substance policies and the season hasn't even started. Him and Ricky Williams should get a timeshare in Jamaica together.

* * * *

Going to be a great season...

Between Pauly Pierce claiming he's the best player in the NBA, Smoka D Miles joining the squad, and the inevitable "Sam Cassell is a washed up ball hog" controversy, it's going to be a hell of a ride - and I'm just glad to be here for it.

Props to Patrick O'Bryant, who looked great in tonight's pre-season match up against Philly. Better watch out Perk-a-lerk, Obie could be gunning to steal some PT from you and Big Baby...