'Tis the season...

December 20.

People bailing on work early, fighting traffic, driving aggressively, flipping the bird to young children, guzzling coffee and energy drinks by the gallon, crowding malls and outlets, cussing, cursing, blaspheming... and jingling all the way!

Yes Virginia, the Hell-idays are upon us like Herman Cain on a cocktail waitress at the GOP Christmas Ball. And along with them, all that precious, cherished family togetherness we… ahem… relish all year long. 

That’s right, the time of the season for cheek pinching geriatrics, awkward inquiries into your personal life, bad stories about your second cousins new career as a martial arts instructor, and uncomfortable and alarming amounts of time spent with those “special” family members and friends you simply “tolerate,” is here! 

That’s why this year, we here at the Boston Lager have come up with a few new holiday “games” that you, our readers, can employ, along with a healthy dose of Jack Daniels, to help you get through your family Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus gatherings.

So, without further ado, The Lager Emergency Situation Management Department proudly presents – Holiday Drinking Games 2011:

 Not-So-Silent Night:

A holiday classic, this yuletide drinking game is for those of us whose family patriarchs and matriarchs have been blessed with the… umm… gift… of unnatural longevity.

Big Perks

We've all seen it happen, if it hasn't in fact happened to us.

Guy breaks up with his longtime girlfriend, who is pretty cool by most accounts and all of his friends actually like, to play the field, chase some hotter chick, etc. He fails to get the hot chick, or does for a while then it fizzles out, or he plays the field for a few months and has a blast, but eventually it's going to get old.

Then, 6 to 8 months go by - he's getting tired of being single at this point - and he runs into his ex at a bar somewhere. She has lost that little bit of extra weight she had always carried around, bought herself a whole new wardrobe, and looks smoking hot. He goes over to talk to her, and she is not only still cool, but also has come into some money via some distant rich relative dying and is about to embark on an all-expense paid 3-month sightseeing trip around the world... with her new douchebag boyfriend who plays right wing for the Providence Bruins.

This sends our guy into a deep, dark, month-long depression.

At this point you might be asking yourself where I'm going with this. Well, let me show you:

Kendrick Perkins lost 31-lbs this offseason!!!

If Perk starts beast-ing on people all of a sudden because he can finally get up and down the court without looking like he's moving at the same speed as a scrambling Tom Brady, I'm growing [an even more ridiculous] beard and going on suicide watch until July.

God's son returns?

Did you hear this rumor yet!!!!

The one where Timothy Richard Tebow broke up Lindsey Vonn's marriage and is now dating her?

That's right. A rumor that the should-have-been-aborted-miracle-baby, born-again Christian, Filipino circumcising, saving-himself-for-marriage, inaccurate as all hell, starting Bronco's QB has landed super hot US Olympian Alpine goddess Lindsey Vonn.

Some guys have all the luck.

If this is somehow true (it's not, if there is a fair and loving God, this is not true), then the debate is over. Tebow is the second-coming of Christ, and this time he's decided "You know what, I'm Jesus fucking Christ! Sure, I'll prepare the army of the Lord for judgement day in 2012, but I'll be damned if I don't get to have a little fun along the way this time around!"

Screw it. As discussed here previously, Julia Mancuso is my favorite hot US winter Olympian anyway. (Nastia Liukin gets the summer and overall titles).

Legendary beings and life's lessons learned...

My youngest brother will occasionally send his random thoughts and musings out to a collection of friends via mass text message. He calls these his "Fun Facts of the Day".

The thoughts are generally Confucius-esque revelations aimed at unraveling life's greatest mysteries. Why are SBD's so deadly? Is double-dipping acceptable if you took the last chip? Why don't they make toilets the same height as barstools? He generally writes these while sitting on the throne - you get the picture by now I'm sure.

This morning, he sent one that simply required re-posting here:

"FFOTD: The Fun Fact's list of some mythical creatures:


Bigfoot*
The Loch Ness Monster*
Dragons (fire-bretahing)*
Mermaids*
Sane Women
Unicorns*
Pokemon*


* = may actually be real"

 They learn so fast!

HERE'S CARSON!!!!

Here indeed.

In case you've been living under an NFL rock for the past 48-hours, former USC Trojan and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer - who refused to report to play for the Bengals this season and has been demanding a trade since the end of the Bengals 4-12 2010 campaign - has finally gotten his wish.

The Oakland Raiders, after losing starting quarterback Jason Campbell to injury on Sunday for what could be the remainder of the season,  have traded a 1st round pick in the 2012 draft and a 2nd round 2013 pick (which has the potential to become a 1st rounder) for Palmer.

Palmer, who sports an 86.9 career passer rating and has twice thrown for over 4,000 yards in a season (falling just short twice more with 3,836 yards in the 2005 season and 3,970 yards last season), is somewhat of an NFL enigma. After leading an upstart 11-5 Bengals team to the postseason in 2005, a season in which he threw for 32 touchdowns and only 12 interceptions, Palmer's knee was essentially torn apart on a hit sustained in the team's first-round playoff loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Now, 5 seasons and an elbow reconstruction later, the quarterback who was once thought to be the next "elite" NFL passer has never been quite able to attain that same level of success.

This afternoon my buddy Steve and I were having a conversation regarding the QB and what this means for Oakland, and I think the back-and-forth really sums up the myriad of feelings one can have on Palmer and the trade, as well as how much is riding on this season relating to the context in which Palmer's career is ultimately viewed. So, without further ado, here is the convo:

Steve: Palmer is expected to start on Sunday.

Me: Ohhhhhhhh Yaaaaaaaaa.

Steve: Palmer is such a bum. I can't believe, CAN'T BELIEVE, that the Raiders gave a 1st-rounder, and possibly two 1st rounders, to get him. What a fuckin' joke.

Me: I agree that they overpaid. However, it cannot be ignored that this guy was once mentioned in the same breath as Brady, Manning and Brees. 

Steve: Was. When he left he was more like a bum.

Me: The injuries and just being stuck in that horrendous franchise clearly had a huge impact on his game. I'm curious to see what a change of scenery might do for him. I've always like Carson Palmer and would like to see him succeed.

Steve: Funny, you used a similar excuse for Ocho-stinko. Carson sucks.

Me: I don't deny that. It was clearly too late for Chad. He needed to get out two seasons ago. However, QBs have a longer shelf life, and I think Carson might still be salvageable. Clearly, as evidenced by his refusal to play for the Bengals, he knew he needed a change of scenery. Now that he's gotten one, let's see what he does with it.

Steve: Na.

Me: Ya.

Steve: Ya, like Oakland is the place to be.

Me: I will wager he takes Oakland to the post-season.

Steve: They are winning their division already. If they don't go, it's his fault.

Me: They still have to contend with the Chargers, who always make a late season rally.

Steve: Ya.

Me: I say, if he can come in without any training camp, prep time to learn the offense, or familiarity with the receivers and get them to the playoffs, that is a massive accomplishment.

Steve: In a division with only one other contender, maybe, but not enough to change my opinion. The post-season is where he is at his suckiest.

Me: We shall see. I'm using the Rocky IV corollary here: "If I can change, and you can change, maybe Carson Palmer can change."

Steve: Na.

Me: Only time will tell.

Scowl no more... for better or worse...

I haven't posted here in a long time.

And it's not fair for this, my first post in such a lengthy span, to be what this post is - which is therapy, in the form of the written word. But, alas, Kendrick Perkins was traded today.

In return for he and Nate Robinson, the green got former C's draft pick Jeff Green - who was immediately traded during the 2007 draft for Ray Allen - and Nenad Krstic.

I need to get this out there right off the bat; I unabashedly love Kendrick Perkins. He lays it all out every night, does whatever is asked of him, is a beast on D and on the boards, and in his seven seasons out of Clifton J. Ozen High School in Texas, has never committed a foul.

Kendrick, I will always remember you with a scowl. 

With that said, after spending quite a bit of time trying to wrap my head around this trade, this is what I've come up with:

If you're a Celtics fan, your opinion on this trade depends almost entirely on how you felt about the C's chances of bringing another championship home this year.

I, for one, thought that they could. They have given us no reason to doubt them. They have beaten the Heat three times. They have performed very well against all of the top teams in both conferences. Why would that level of success not continue?

Yes, certain teams in the East got better recently (the Knicks and the Nets, but only one of those teams matters come playoff time). Yes, the Celts need to stay healthy to win it this year, and they are (or were) currently banged up. I still think they had a better than decent shot.

Without Perk, I don't think that shot is as good. Who replaces his boards and D come playoff time? Who D's up Dwight and Boozer? (And even Amare if he's on the post?) And the big advantage the Celts had over the Heat (the size and strength of their frontcourt), takes a hit.

The Celts now have to rely on Shaq as their starting center going into the playoffs. How did that work out for Cleveland last year?

And Troy Murphy - who the Celts are rumored to be getting once his contract is bought out by Golden State - is not Perk. Neither is Rasheed Wallace. Neither is Krstic. And I don't believe Jermaine O'Neal will be healthy enough at any point this season to truly make any significant contributions, and even if he is, does no one remember the stink bomb he turned in during that Heat series last year?

Now, I have long been accused of overrating Perk (my buddy Steve will tell you this as soon as Perkins' name is brought up). I hope that's true. And it might be.

The more I think about it (and my opinion is still morphing even as I write this), I mean, it's not inconceivable that the Celtics still make it through the East without Perk. And yes, Green will help the second unit and help spell Paul Peirce and Ray Allen. But it's definitely going to be tougher without Perk, and I'm just not sure how I feel about possibly sacrificing one of the Big Three's last championship runs for future competitiveness.

Which brings me to the future.

For the future, this trade, coupled with the draft picks gained from dealing Semih Erden and Luke Harangody to Cleveland, is a good move. I don't think there's any debating that.

Our biggest fear as Celtics fans prior to today, whether we said it or not (and a friend of mine vocalized something to this affect a few weeks ago), was that when the Big Three retired we were going to be stuck right back where we started before we got Ray and KG.  A 35-win team with a pu-pu platter of young guys and no real veteran leadership.

This trade gives the C's a solid wing player who has proven he can score (Green), a few draft picks to start to build while the Big Three are phasing out, and some eventual cap space to make a big free-agent signing or two in the coming years (Dwight in 2012?).

The Celts likely weren't re-signing Perk anyway if everything we hear in the media is to be believed.

In summation, and as always, it takes a while to come around on Danny Ainge's moves, because he's normally two steps ahead of everyone else.

He is also unemotional and ruthless. He's going to take risks and do what he thinks is best for the team in the long run, which is what makes him a good GM.

It certainly does not make him a fan favorite. And in my opinion, it might have cost us a championship this year, but that remains to be seen. Either way there's no denying that this trade gives the C's the opportunity, not the certainty, to stay competitive long term. A few good draft picks and signings in the coming year and half and they could be a perennial playoff team for years after the Big Three depart.

The question is, if the C's don't win a championship this year, and they don't win one in the Rondo/Green/whoever-else-it-

is-they-get-as-an-indirect-result-of-this-trade era that follows the Big 3 era, then was it worth it?

And I honestly don't have an answer for that.

The Talented Mr. Rondo

It goes without saying at this point: Rajon Rondo is the most important player on the Boston Celtics roster when it comes to both their current and future success.

His 12-10-22-6 line in last night's win over the Spurs practically cemented that statement, which has already been uttered many a time over the past year and a half, as fact. He has 46 assists in three games since returning from a seven-game layoff due to an ankle sprain sustained in the C's Christmas day loss to Orlando.

Rondo is undeniably one of the most talented and unique players in the NBA today. With that said, I'm worried about him.

Before you x-out of this window thinking this is just digging for controversy where there's nothing to be found, hear me out.

Read Forsberg's Rondo article from today.

It's stories like this that make me wonder what's going to happen to Rondo if/when Doc leaves. I think that Rondo still has a lot of untapped potential, yet I worry that without the right coach that potential will remain locked away, and he could even regress as a player. Doc is clearly a coach who has connected with Rondo and been able to motivate him and help him continuously improve his game.

When Doc says things like "He can make those shots. That's what's so frustrating to our guys: [Rondo] passed up at least six of them today, maybe seven. Rondo can make those shots. We just have to get him to take them after a miss. Because the way [the Timberwolves] guarded him tonight is the way they're going to guard him in the playoffs," you can see how important his tutelage, understanding and encouragement are to Rondo's development.

What happens when Doc leaves. Can Rondo make it to that next level without him? Is he far enough along/competitive enough to make it there on his own?

The fact that I can't even guess at the answers to those two questions worries me. We need Doc to stick around so we never have to find out what those answers are.