Waiting for the bottom to drop...

It hit me last night as I watched Rajon Rondo writhing in pain on the hardwood after this mid-air collision with the Knick's Tyson Chandler sent him crashing to the ground, tailbone first:

I've been waiting for the bottom to drop out.

I have dismissed. I have tempered. Unlike one Mr. Rod Stewart, I have looked to find a reason to disbelieve. So, here I stand, guilty as self-accused, ready to confess my sins.

For the better part of the last month and a half, as I've watched my beloved Celtics win 21 of their last 30 contests - many against some of the top teams in this lockout shortened NBA season - I've been curtly and systematically dismissing endless streams of, "You know, the Celts might have one run left in em..." comments. In fact, I've been doing it so often, it's developing into a perfectly rehearsed monologue:

"Yeah, I know they look good right now, but nothing has changed... they still can't rebound... they're offense still relies too heavily on their jumpers falling... they still lack depth... the bench can't score and blows leads... Sasha Pavlovic is being counted upon for meaningful minutes... the same problems that existed pre- All-Star break persist, they just haven't been exposed. They will be. Ultimately, they'll give up too many offensive boards to a team they should have put away in a must win playoff game, and an abundance of second chance points will propel said team past the Celts and into the next round and relegate Danny Ainge to a long summer of, "Should I? Shouldn't I?," in regard to resigning KG and/or Ray Allen."

In fact, as recently as two and a half weeks ago, in a conversation with a friend, I stated that the only playoff-bound team the Green could take in a 7-game series was Orlando. I don't believe that now, and I didn't believe it then either.

Big Perks

We've all seen it happen, if it hasn't in fact happened to us.

Guy breaks up with his longtime girlfriend, who is pretty cool by most accounts and all of his friends actually like, to play the field, chase some hotter chick, etc. He fails to get the hot chick, or does for a while then it fizzles out, or he plays the field for a few months and has a blast, but eventually it's going to get old.

Then, 6 to 8 months go by - he's getting tired of being single at this point - and he runs into his ex at a bar somewhere. She has lost that little bit of extra weight she had always carried around, bought herself a whole new wardrobe, and looks smoking hot. He goes over to talk to her, and she is not only still cool, but also has come into some money via some distant rich relative dying and is about to embark on an all-expense paid 3-month sightseeing trip around the world... with her new douchebag boyfriend who plays right wing for the Providence Bruins.

This sends our guy into a deep, dark, month-long depression.

At this point you might be asking yourself where I'm going with this. Well, let me show you:

Kendrick Perkins lost 31-lbs this offseason!!!

If Perk starts beast-ing on people all of a sudden because he can finally get up and down the court without looking like he's moving at the same speed as a scrambling Tom Brady, I'm growing [an even more ridiculous] beard and going on suicide watch until July.

The Talented Mr. Rondo

It goes without saying at this point: Rajon Rondo is the most important player on the Boston Celtics roster when it comes to both their current and future success.

His 12-10-22-6 line in last night's win over the Spurs practically cemented that statement, which has already been uttered many a time over the past year and a half, as fact. He has 46 assists in three games since returning from a seven-game layoff due to an ankle sprain sustained in the C's Christmas day loss to Orlando.

Rondo is undeniably one of the most talented and unique players in the NBA today. With that said, I'm worried about him.

Before you x-out of this window thinking this is just digging for controversy where there's nothing to be found, hear me out.

Read Forsberg's Rondo article from today.

It's stories like this that make me wonder what's going to happen to Rondo if/when Doc leaves. I think that Rondo still has a lot of untapped potential, yet I worry that without the right coach that potential will remain locked away, and he could even regress as a player. Doc is clearly a coach who has connected with Rondo and been able to motivate him and help him continuously improve his game.

When Doc says things like "He can make those shots. That's what's so frustrating to our guys: [Rondo] passed up at least six of them today, maybe seven. Rondo can make those shots. We just have to get him to take them after a miss. Because the way [the Timberwolves] guarded him tonight is the way they're going to guard him in the playoffs," you can see how important his tutelage, understanding and encouragement are to Rondo's development.

What happens when Doc leaves. Can Rondo make it to that next level without him? Is he far enough along/competitive enough to make it there on his own?

The fact that I can't even guess at the answers to those two questions worries me. We need Doc to stick around so we never have to find out what those answers are.

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you....

Well, this is a rare treat.

Just three days after handing the “Ass-Clown of the Year” award to d-bag Chris Surette – whose “Walk of Shame” column is currently being specially printed onto 20 rolls of toilet paper for use in my apartment building’s public bathroom – I am blessed with the honor of handing out yet another prestigious award:

Congratulations Bill Belichick, you’re this year’s recipient of “The Arrogant Bone-headed Call of the Year Award.”

And to think, I thought it was going to Rick Pitino* …

The only possible way you can explain Belichick’s decision to go for it on 4th and 2 from his own 28 while leading by 6 last night is pure and unadulterated arrogance. Even Andy Reid knows you punt that ball and trust your defense to hold the opposition to a field goal in that situation!!!

(Though apparently Reid does not know you go for it on 4th and 1 from the opposition 1-yard line when trailing by two scores in the second quarter**.)

For anyone who might have packed it in and gone to bed after the Pats scored on the opening drive of the fourth quarter, putting them up 31-14, here’s a quick recap of what happened in the final 12:00 minutes of play:

• Peyton drives 79-yards and hits Pierre Garcon on a 29-yard touchdown strike when Leigh “Toast” Bodden bites on the pump fake.

• Pats fail to do anything with the ball on their next possession and punt.

• Peyton throws an interception on the first play of the Colts next possession. Pats drive 51-yards for a Gostkowski FG, putting them ahead 34-21 and seemingly sealing the victory with 4:12 remaining in the game.

• Peyton leads another 79-yard touchdown drive – greatly aided by a horrendous pass interference call on Pats DB Darius Butler – scoring in just 1:23 to put the Colts within 6 with 2:23 left to play.

That’s when it happened… when Belichick inexplicably morphed into “Reid 2.0: Bigger, Bolder, Dumber.”

The Pat’s got the ball back on their own 20 after a touchback on the Pat McAfee kickoff, and before even running the first play of the drive Brady was forced to burn a timeout***.

THE FIRST PLAY OF THE DRIVE!!!

How do you take the field on the first play of a drive without knowing which play you’re going to run and which plays you can audible to depending on where the defense lines up?

So, now the Pats run their first play with only one timeout remaining, getting just under a yard on a Kevin Faulk run up the gut. Indy calls its first timeout. Brady completes an 8-yard pass to Wes Welker on second down, but he’s still 2-yards shy of the 1st down. Indy calls its second timeout. Brady tosses a short pass to Welker on 3rd down that falls incomplete. The clock stops because of the incomplete pass.

The play clock starts to tic, and the Pats face a 4th and 2 from their own 28. Belichick has roughly 15-seconds to decide whether to punt, go for it, or line up and try to draw the defense offsides and then call his remaining timeout and punt. Those are your three options as a coach in this situation.

INSTEAD of doing any of those things, Belichick calls his third and final timeout without even having his offense line up and try to draw the Colts offsides!!!

Why?!? Why Bill?!? WHY?

This is about as classic Andy Reid as it gets – indecisive play calling, squandering timeouts, just overall poor clock management.

Then, it happens. The Patriots offense returns to the field and lines up for the snap as the following conversation takes place in living rooms across New England:

Person A: What is he doing? Are they going for it?

Person B: They can’t be. They’re on their own 28. You can’t give the ball back to Manning inside the 30 with this much time left and expect him not to score. They must be trying to see if they can draw them offsides then they’ll punt.

Person A: They just used their last timeout though, they can’t make the switch. They’re going for it.

Person B: (Nervously in a low tone) They can’t be.

Person A: They are.

Person B: (Silence)…… I like it! I like the call!!! Let’s go!!!

Barack was right, the human disposition toward optimism and hope when facing seemingly insurmountable odds certainly is audacious.

There is 2:08 remaining in the game at this point. If you have a good punter – and the Patriots have a fantastic one in Chris Hanson – you have him kick it high here in order to bring the clock down to the two-minute warning. So then, you potentially have Peyton getting the ball on his own 25-40 yard-line with 2:00 minutes left and only 1 timeout.

Dangerous? Absolutely. Peyton might be one of the most dangerous quarterbacks in the game in that situation. But when the alternative is giving him the ball on your 28 with 1 timeout and the two-minute warning???

Yes, I’m aware there was another scenario in play; the one where the Pats make the first down, run out the clock, Peyton stays on the sidelines and Belichick is heralded as a “genius” once again for his gutsy play-calling. But therein lies my point.

Belichick was well aware of everything I just broke down in the previous paragraphs when he made the decision to go for it on fourth down.

He knew the potential consequences of his decision, and rather than make the simple call, the call to punt the ball, the call that the majority of coaches in the NFL would have made under the same circumstances and might have given HIS TEAM its best chance to win, he chose to make the riskier call with the potential to make HIM look like genius.

In an unapologetic display of arrogance, Belichick chose the chance for individual glory over the potential for shared victory.

If the Patriots punt the ball and manage to stop Manning and earn a win, the story in today’s headlines reads “Patriot’s 4th QTR defensive stand saves victory.”

But, if the Patriots make that first down? If Kevin Faulk doesn’t bobble the ball and gets his forward progress awarded? If Belichick had saved that one last timeout and challenged the forward progress? If the Patriots somehow get that first down, then the story in today’s headlines reads “Belichick’s gutsy call seals victory.”

Bill Belichick decided to turn 2:08 of clock into a one play game that was all about him on Sunday night, and that’s why on Monday morning he’s the proud recipient of 2009’s Arrogant Bone-headed Call of the Year Award.

Congrats Bill. Make sure you talk with Chris Surette at the after-party, he might have some pointers on how you can still pick up chicks now that you’re no longer a football genius.

___________________________________________________
*You know, for the whole get woman pregnant, force her to abort, convince assistant to marry her and pay them to keep quiet thing, Allegedly.

**See Philadelphia Eagles at San Diego Chargers, Nov. 15, 2009. Reid elected to kick a FG in this spot, as well as again in the 3rd quarter when facing a 4th and 1 from the Chargers 7-yard line. The Eagles lost by 8 points. For those of you lacking in the math department, the point differential between a FG and TD (plus PAT) is 4. The difference between the two FGs kicked on 4th and 1 instead of the TDs that could have been scored had Reid elected to go for it? 8 points.

***Now might be a good time for an NFL Replay Challenge Semantics refresher. In order to initiate a coach’s challenge in the NFL, you must have at least one time out remaining. This is because the way a coach is penalized for an incorrect challenge is via the loss of a timeout. If you could still challenge without a timeout, then what’s to prevent a coach from challenging every play after he’s burned his final timeout, he’s got nothing to lose, right? Keep this in mind as we continue.

Big Things A-Comin'

With the NBA draft fast approaching, I haven’t been able to control my urges to spend hours of valuable work-time researching potential moves for the Celtics.

After exploring scores of trade ideas, free agent signings and potential draft picks – some plausible, others not so much – I have settled on one of the most unlikely scenarios in the history of sport and am now fully endorsing the following plan of action, which I am calling (for multiple reasons) “Operation Dumbo Drop”.

Consider this:

What if Danny Ainge could convince Kevin McHale to give us back the first round pick we sent to Minnesota in the KG trade for Tony Allen and some cash? (Stop laughing. This is Kevin McHale we’re talking about. He’s, A) One of the most inept GM’s in the NBA next to Chris Wallace, and B) Not at all afraid to help his former team out a bit, as evidenced during the Summer of 2007).

Kevin’s got picks coming out the wazzu this year (the ‘Wolves have three picks in the first round; 6th, 20th and 28th ) and will likely not have the roster space to sign all those rookies. So why wouldn’t he want to turn one of his picks (which will be an untested question-mark looking for a 3-4 year deal) into a one-year rental of a proven defender who also happens to have… (That’s right Johnny!!! Tell him what he’s won!!!)… an expiring contract in the most anticipated free-agent market in NBA History, (cue movie-phone guy voice) “The Summer of 2010!!”?

So now with Kevin’s 20th or 28th pick, Danny takes Tyler Hansboro (a steal that late who I'm convinced might even slip to the early second round).

With Bill Walker (who showed flashes of greatness in his limited PT last season and who I feel could mature quite quickly if given a larger role) and Hansboro, you get two young, energetic swingmen who can drive to the basket and have decent developing mid-range jumpers (not to mention that Hansboro could potentially develop a passable enough 3-point stroke - say high-20s to low 30s 3pt percentage - to be a threat to score from anywhere on the floor).

Those two, along with Starbury (who you then resign at a discount rate since his stock is low and he wants to stay in Boston and try to win a ring) could provide enough minutes to rest Ray and Paul to keep them fresh for another long championship run.

Now here’s where it gets good…..

Maybe - and this is a stretch (as if the rest of this plan isn’t?) - but maybe due to his above average play in the playoffs and McHale's fetish for White Goofy Power Forwards (the T-wolves are currently carrying an all-star list of WGPFs - Mark Madsen, Brain Cardinal and Kevin Love), maybe Kevin gives Danny the pick for Tony Allen and (this gives me great pleasure to say, even though I've grown to love him as an individual) "Brian Scalabrine's Expiring Contract".
Stop.

Think about it. And stop asking what I’m on.

This move would give Kevin an additional $5.7 million (Allen and Scal’s combined salaries) coming off the books for “The Summer of 2010” to go after somebody for Big Al to play with, and it would give the Celtics roughly $5.7 million they could use to lockup Big Baby and resign Eddie House.

(NOTE: I’m not sure where the rest of this money is coming from, because $5.7 mil is not enough to resign both Eddie and Baby. Just roll with it though. Sam Cassell, Patrick O’Bryant and Leon Powe’s salaries coming off the books should help; Danny will find a way to make the rest work.)

So, at this point Doc would have an eight-man rotation of Rondo, Ray, Paul, KG, Perk, House, Starbury, and Baby, with Hansboro and Bill Walker coming off the bench and J.R. Giddens keeping the seats warm as an 11th man.

Use a mid-level exception to sign another veteran big (or at least a cheap role playing one) - potentially the looking to make a comeback and “in the best shape of his career” Antoine Walker, Mara-Juwan-a Howard, Marcin Gortat or Anderson Varejao - and you're set to raise Banner 18 in June of 2010, right?

(I mean, this secenario really isn't that unrealistic, right?)

(Stop staring at me like that.)

(I’m not crazy.)

The Intro

I have been told by friends to start a blog.

I've been told it's a good idea, and it might help get me some exposure if it takes off. See, I'm an aspiring writer in need of an audience - and according to many of my idiot friends, blogging could be a way to gain one.

So, given that you now know the above information, you may wonder why my name isn't attached to the bottom of this blog. Well, allow me to answer your question. The most intriguing part of this whole blogging phenomenon, in my opinion, is the anonymity which it is capable of providing.

As an aspiring writer, I'm currently employed as a reporter with a small New England newspaper. Being such, there are things I'll post on this space I might not want the 60-something-year-old woman who's involved with the local church group, who I'm trying to convince I'm a nice kid so I can use her as a source for my day job, to know.

Like my current opinion of Justin Masterson for instance, who just faced two batters, gave up two hits and joined Hideki Okajima in collectively sucking their way to letting the Angels back into Game 4 of the ALDS.

So, with all that said, what you can expect to see in this space from here on out is my unfiltered and biased opinion on all things relevant to a 22-year-old male from just north of Boston, Mass., - sports, beer, friendships, relationships (necessarily, yes necessarily, in that order... ha ha... no, no... I joke, I kid) and anything else I damn well please to pollute cyberspace with.

P.S. - Thank you Jason Bay and Jed Lowrie!! Who'da thunk it'd be J & J Hit Factory getting us out of this one. Kudos boys; time to cowboy up for (can't believe I'm actually writing this!?!) Tampa. It's gonna be a hell of an ALCS.

More to come soon.